straight on through

Not much personal written here lately. There hasn’t been much in my personal life that’s good to share. Well, really, it’s more like the negative stuff has blown up to clog up my obsessive mind and crowd out any focus on the positive. My predicament is 90% my doing and 10% fickle finger of fate. No one to blame but myself. I can’t give details because, in my life, many of my details have joint ownership and I can just put other people’s stuff out on the web willy nilly. But personally I am feeling down and could really use your prayers.

It’s times like these that I rely on faith like some kind of insurance. I just keep on walking through the shit that’s coming down around my ears and pretend to myself that it will all come out okay. If I want to put the best spin on it I could say that my faith is keeping me strong, but that wouldn’t be quite true. I am not strong in my faith like that. But God tells me to keep walking and I do. “What else you gonna do? Sit there? Go back?” he says to me. I can distract myself long enough to work or surf web or even play a bit. I am king of distractions. But eventually I remember where I am and that I have to keep walking, with a knot in my stomach and what feels like a permanent frown on my brow, straight through.

Cheery today, ain’t I?

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