Commericals make me Grimace

What do Grimace and Donald Trump have in common besides flogging Mickey D’s “Big And Tasty” Burger? They’re both wearing rugs, of course. Except Grimace looks more natural in his. He also has the better lines. Okay, that’s kind of mean, but after watching CSI and Without A Trace last night, my patience with that commercial is wearing thin.

And who is this Grimace guy anyway? If I weren’t 36 years old, I wouldn’t have any background at all on the McDonalds Land characters. Grimace was the shake guy, right? Now he’s hobnobbing with captians of industry like Donald Trump? Is he, like, the real power in McDonald’s Land now? Is Ronald just a figurehead? Just a pretty face? This just messes up my whole notion of McDonald’s Land power politics.

Seems like competitors could have some fun with McDonald’s Trump endorsement with a counter-commercial. They could land Ivana:

(focus on closed office door with Do Not Disturb sign. You can hear voices.)
Ivana’s voice: (moans) Ooooh Jack, it’s so BIG!
Jack’s voice: …and Tasty… mmm…
Ivana’s voice: Donald never satisfied me like you do, Jack.
Jack’s voice: Yeah, I could show him something truly big and tasty
Ivana’s voice: (laughs)

You get the idea. Except it’d have to air on late night. Well, with the incessant wank-vertising campaign of Clairol Herbal Essences paving the way, maybe not.

On a related burger note, I passed by Jack in the Box yesterday and noticed a new sign in the window. It showed a Bacon Double Cheeseburger and the words “Now Totally Reworked!” How do you rework a bacon burger? Quit using kangaroo meat? Wash the lettuce this time? Use Sizzlean?

I think all “New and Improved” advertising is ill-advised. What that says to me is “Forget about the crap we were selling you last week, this is much better crap.”

Man, I watched two hours of television last night and my common denominator has been already lowered. I have to go read something uplifting and substantial to get out of this “Seinfeldian shallow and ironic observations about popular culture” mode. Bear with me.

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