Me: Trajectory. This is Cody.
Heidi: You might want to stop the compliments.
Me: What ever do you mean?
Heidi: Your blog. It’s a bit much.
Me: Too much, huh? Really?
Heidi: You’re going to drive away all your readers.
Me: Well, I write what *I* want on *my* blog.
Heidi: Cody, even *I* hate me after reading that.
Me: Oh. (pause) That wasn’t what I was going for.
Heidi: I know.
I suppose y’all agree, huh? Well, sorry, but after fifteen years I’m more in love with my wife than ever. Sue me.
So I guess that’s the end of Heidi week. I mean, what can I write about Heidi that’s not gushing? I can’t exactly write insults in honor of her birthday.
I guess I could write about the endearingly irritating things about her, like how she puts peas *and* little crunchy onions in her goulash. Or how there’s a tweny-five percent chance that on any right turn she’ll brush the rear passenger side tire of the van against the curb. Or how she likes to watch the goory gooey maternity shows on TLC. Or how she has appointed herself my personal nose and ear hair cop. Or how she likes to put her cold feet in the middle of my back in bed.
Wait. I like that one.
You get the idea. I could go on like that for a while, but not long enough to fill out Heidi week. So I may be dead in the water here. I’ll have to think…