Today is Heidi’s and my fifteenth wedding anniversary. I have been with her in some form for over half my life.
We’re on our sixth marriage. We’ve had the newlywed phase. The DINK phase. The new parent phase. The Jet Set yuppie phase. The June and Ward Cleaver phase. And now The foster/adopt/caregiver phase.
You see, every marriage is actually a collection of marriages — phases when things change so much that you’re essentially in a different relationship. A new relationship that requires its own preparation and plan, its own reconfirmation and rededication, it’s own renewal. Heidi and I have been blessed with the knowledge of this and have done pretty well at keeping the “Us” as the core of all this change constant and growing. It is for that reason I truly celebrate our anniversary in my heart today.
In a few years we will likely be out of our foster/adopt phase. We are just about top-loaded on kids and will have to stop collecting after the next one (or two). Then, what? The Brady Bunch phase? Followed by the Career Renaissance phase? Then Teenage Turmoil? Then Empty Nest? Who knows?
Heidi and I are gifted with an ability to approach our life together systematically, analytically, while also making room for romance and spontaneous fun. I do know that as long as Heidi and I are side by side, we can face anything.
These are the best years of my life. Not the best ever, but the best so far.
In mathematical parlance, Heidi is a dominant term in my equation which gives the function a positive derivative (and second derivative, and possibly third as well). Yeah, there’s always a local maximum and local minimum, but never an absolute maximum.
Or, for you non-geeks, we have our ups and downs, sure, but overall it just keeps getting better.