Evicting a Spider

A rather impressive spider has taken up residence on our upstairs landing. A big spider. A “Hey, look at that spider!” spider. I noticed him because I accidentally clipped one of his web’s moorings while carrying a load out to the car the other day. I felt that chilling “I just walked through a spider web” feeling and I looked up to see a regal looking three inch spider moving down her now flapping web toward me. By the time I came back from the car, the damage was repaired and the web was stable again.

But that’s the problem. Big Spider. Big Web. Impassable landing. The Spider needs to move. So how do you evict a spider?

“Excuse me, Ms. Spider, ma’am, but I have a matter that needs your attention. First of all let me say that I am a big fan of your work. But you see you have taken up here on my landing where my kids sometimes play and you’ve made it impossible to pass without hurting your magnificent web. I’m afraid that while I’m away there might be an incident involving shrieking hysterics in which you and your web might be damaged. (No I am not threatening you.) So I think we need to plan a move. I want you here in my yard, but not right here.”

I thought I might take a stick and gently wrap up the web on it and get the spider on the stick then take the spider to some other spot in the yard. I dunno, is that a dumb idea? How do you evict a spider without hurting it?

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