Not Giving Up

Never give up
No matter what is going on
Never give up
Develop the heart
Too much energy in your country is spent
Developing the mind instead of the heart.
Be compassionate not just to your friends but to everyone
Be compassionate.
Work for peace in your heart and in the world.
Work for peace and I say again
Never give up.
No matter what is happening,
No matter what is going on around you,
Never give up.

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Last night was a frustrating night with Speedy. For the first time since he’s been with us I despaired bitterly that maybe we cannot reach him, that we will fail to love him out of his defiance and raging episodes. I was ready to throw up my hands, draw a line in the sand, plan out how to move from “We will never ever send you away.” to something more, I dunno, realistic. I was out of ideas.

In the light of morning, cooler heads prevail. My wife is the voice of reason and encouragement. And from my inbox, the Dalai Lama himself is telling me to “Never give up.”

I have to say I don’t feel it. Speedy and I don’t have the history together yet for me to have natural feelings of love for him. Adopting an older child is a whole lot different emotionally than adopting a baby. So I guess it’s a damn good thing that real love is not about what you feel so much as what you do.

You can decide to Love, and Love stubbornly. Meet outbursts with calm. Meet anger with gentleness. The only way to love him out of his current mode is to be more stubborn than he is. And never entertain the idea of giving up.

(This is more self-talk for me than preaching for you. You guys prolly know all this stuff by now. I apparently have to keep relearning the lesson.)

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