I am forever pure.
What do I care who knows,
What is known,
Or how it is known?
What do I care for knowledge?
What do I care what is,
Or what is not?
I am forever still.
What are joy or sorrow,
Distraction or concentration,
Understanding or delusion?
-Ashtavakra Gita 20:8-9
After two days in Lean Six Sigma Black Belt training, studying Replenishment Pull Systems and ANOVA, I am feeling the poem above. Three more days to go…
Just when I think I am too frazzled to find something to post, poetry comes to my rescue:
I want to be
so I can be
What good is my
when I am
— David Budbill
Reminds me of a T-shirt I once saw that read “God, please give me the chance to show you that being rich would not spoil me.”
Actual conversation at dinner the other night:
Me (to Heidi): Let’s take in an ilm-fay.
Girlzilla: I wan’t to go see an ilm-fay.
Me: Your mother and I need an ate-day.
(Girzilla correctly senses that she will be drafted to babysit)
Girlzilla: No way!
Me: We’ll pay…
This poem I found here is delightful and geekalicious at the same time!
open yourself, wide;
connect(us, together), tell me
do something if distressed;
read(books, $poems, stories) until peaceful;
study if able; write me if-you-please;
sort your feelings, reset goals, seek(friends, family, anyone);
if sin abounds;
keys(hidden), open(locks, doors), tell secrets;
do not, I-beg-you, close them, yet.
accept(yourself, changes), bind(grief,despair);
require truth, goodness if-you-will, each moment;
# listen(a perl poem)
# Sharon Hopkins
# rev. June 19, 1995
This poem reminds me of a scene in one of my favorite Bill Murray Films called The Razors’ Edge. In it Murray’s character, Larry Darrell, witnesses the death of his friend and commanding officer Piedmont. Cradling his friend in his arms, he launches into a speech that assaults Piedmont’s character and curses him for dying. The reverse eulogy was touching, the underlying humor and sentiment palpable. It was even more touching to me when I found out that Bill Murray wrote that speech into the script as a farewell to his friend John Belushi who had just recently overdosed. He was holding Piedmont but talking about Belushi.
Angel Gonzalez, I think, captures the same feeling in her poem below. The same reverse eulogy, the same ironic sentiment and humor.
Diatribe Against The Dead
The dead are selfish:
they make us cry and don’t care,
they stay quiet in the most inconvenient places,
they refuse to walk, we have to carry them
on our backs to the tomb
as if they were children. What a burden!
Unusually rigid, their faces
accuse us of something, or warn us;
they are the bad conscience, the bad example,
they are the worst things in our lives always, always.
The bad thing about the dead
is that there is no way you can kill them.
Their constant destructive labor
is for the reason incalculable.
Insensitive, distant, obstinate, cold,
with their insolence and their silence
they don’t realize what they undo.
— Angel Gonzalez
I’m back in the Swing. Family is back from vacation. Kids are back to school. I’m back at work.
Maybe I’ll post more regularly now. I’m going through one of those periods where I don’t see how my blog fits into the rest of my life and so I am feeling no impetus to update as frequently. Maybe I’ll hit my stride as life returns to something of a regular rhythm.
I have hit that period in my blogging life where i don’t really care how many people read me. I haven’t looked at my stats in months but I’m sure they’re way down from what they used to be. Whatever.
But I really appreciate the connections maintained with those of you who do read me. You are my reason for keeping it up. My living counterexamples to the idea that peaks occasionally in my mind that blogging is rather a waste of time. Thanks for sticking by me as I figure out how to weave Overflow back into the rhythm of my life.
If you came by in the last few days and this site wasn’t here, I apologize. I forgot to pay my crossimpact bill. Apparently I didn’t check the automatic renew option like I thought I did. But we’re back now.
My biggest problems with getting regular exercise are time and motivation. I am motivated to play sports, but it takes a lot of time to get ready, get there, and get home and clean up. Not to mention the care and feeding of a list of people you can play with. Trying to organize the Sunday basketball I was playing was quite a deal, and that was just one session on Sunday morning.
And if it’s not sports, I get bored. Almost all other forms of aerobic exercise, machine enabled or not, I am just not motivated to do. Absolutely no interest from my ADD, lack of discipline self. To get me to exercise, I need an objective, a game, a score — something to beat even if it’s only my personal best score.
So that’s why I like Dance, Dance, Revolution for aerobic exercise. I can do it at home with only a little set up. I don’t have to find a partner to play. And, at my weight class, even the easiest songs are aerobic for me. And as I get more fit the difficulty grows to challenge me.
I am really psyched about the emergence of fitness gaming. The answer, I believe, to my exercise motivation problems. I can’t wait for this to come out in September. Eyetoy:Kinetic looks like another step in the right direction for me.
I bought one regular PS2 game for the kiddos to play and have not been impressed with the couch-potato behavior that has inspired. I think I’ll let them play Jak and Daxter out and not buy any more “sit and play” games for the PS2. In a few months, you’ll have to be willing to sweat to play a videogame at the Clarks’ house.