Dear skinny lady at the table behind us,
You are very slender indeed. You look great. I can totally understand your desire to call attention to that fact by wearing that strappy sleeveless thing some might generously call a shirt. In fact, those of us who dress in order to cover up as much of their vast expanses of flesh as they can (A public service. No thanks necessary.) are probably a little envious, which I guess only adds to your fashion experience.
Hey, you’re free to wear as little clothing as your modesty or city ordinances will allow. No problemo por moi. Until you mess with my AC.
In Texas, air conditioning is a deadly serious thing. It’s a Houstonian’s birthright. Thermostat wars in Houston have been known to end in murder. And ask anyone who knows me — I am chock full of the Milk of Human Kindness until you mess with my AC.
So if your dainty bare shoulders get cold in the beautiful, glorious, life-giving AC provided in public places like restaraunts, too damn bad. You don’t get to cheat other diners out of their birthright because you chose to go sleeveless today. No, we will not adjust the thermostat to accommodate your fashion sense. Not without a fight to the death.
Room temperature is 72 degrees, so plan accordingly. Bring a wrap or one of those poncho-ey things. Sit by the window. Sit outside. Stay home. Whatever you need to do.
Just don’t mess with my AC.
The sweating guy at the table behind you