Root Cause Analysis

Cube Guy: Is this a drill?
Manager Dude: Better not be. It’s cold and rainy. What would they be thinking?
Me: Yeah and it’s before 7:00. There’re not enough employees here to make this fire drill a worthwhile test.
Cube Guy2: Weren’t you guys here yesterday? Same thing happened right around the same time.
Me (to Manager Dude): Hey, we need a tiger team to do a root cause analysis and correct this problem.
Manager Dude: I’ll just call an electrician.
Me: Lessee… BOE on the cost. Evacuation time times the number of people…
Manager Dude: …and the time it takes for everyone to get back to real work again afterwards
Cube Guy: Considerable.
Cube Guy2: Yeah, and then the many recountings of the story for each employee who comes in afterwards.
Manager Dude: So what percent of that time will come out of people’s natural web-surfing and coffee chat time and not productive time?
Me: You’re kidding, right?
Manager Dude: Yeah. I already know that answer.
Cube Guy2: Finally. Here comes the safety rep.
Safety Guy: All clear! We can go in.
Cube Guy: So was it a false alarm? What’s up?
Me: Yeah, this happened yesterday too, what gives?
Safety Guy: Nobody knows yet. Could be nothing. But you can’t be too careful.
Manager Dude: Just for grins, could you let me know what the deal is when you find out more?
Safety Guy: I’ll know more this afternoon.
Cube Guy: Hey, I don’t know you. Are you new?
Safety Guy: My second day. Name’s Karl. Karl Munchhausen. Nice to meet you.
Me: (glancing at Manager Dude) Nice… to meet… you.

(this story is based on real events, more or less)

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