Looking for a Sign I Would Carry

It’s tough being a moderate these days. Everyone is so polarized, it’s lonely in the middle. That’s why I’m happy to hear about Jon Stewart’s ‘Rally to Restore Sanity.’ I like the theme: “Take it down a notch, America.”

“We live in troubled times, with real people facing real problems, problems that have real if imperfect solutions that I believe 70 to 80 percent of our population could agree to try and could ultimately live with. Unfortunately, the conversation and process is controlled by the other 15 to 20 percent.”

Moderation is just, well, it’s boring. The subtleties of nuanced dialogue don’t fit into soundbites or tweets. Shades of gray don’t particlarly flatter anybody. “Listening” and “Civility” are just about as enticing as eating your vegetables and flossing regularly. Sensible is just not sensational.

The only way I can see to be a moderate and command some positive attention is to do what Stewart does — make fun of both extremes while making self-deprecating fun at your own expense too. Maybe humor can succeed where Beer Summits have failed?

I probably won’t march because, as Stewart points out, most moderates “have other S%^& to do.” But it’s still fun imagining what things my sign at the march could say:

REASON IS NOT TREASON
RESPECTFULLY DISAGREE
I SEE YOUR POINT
USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE
CALMER THAN YOU ARE
LOSE HATE NOW. ASK ME HOW.
BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER
DEATH TO HATEFUL EXTREMISTS!
HOORAY FOR OUR SIDE
DOWN WITH THIS SORT OF THING
ANYONE HAVE A SHARPIE? MINE SEEMS TO BE RUNN
I AM JUST LOOKING FOR A USED CAR . . . WHAT IS ALL THIS?
I WAS TOLD THERE’D BE TEA

I mean, I’d certainly have fun with it. Because I am already sick to death of polarized prattling and I avoid campaign ads and opinion channels like the plague. I need a good comic relief valve.

I hope Stewart and Colbert claim that a million people attended regardless of what the aerial photo analysis says. That would be classic.

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